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Husband Knows Best...

After writing yesterday, I was very pleased to have my blog up and running and sent a copy of the link to my husband for him to review.  Now, he was working so when I sent it I made sure to note that this was personal - didn't want him to open it up where someone else could see - but I got no reply to my message...

In the afternoon, I was surprised by a package in the mail - a beautiful, delicate satin slip from Victoria's Secret (Click Here To See It)- it is so beautiful, but the straps are really delicate so I am a bit worried that they might rip... in fact I am almost positive he will rip it - so knowing that I am saving it for our next kids free night.  Anyway, I had to call to thank him for the slip and still, no mention of the blog.

Homework was done, lasagna in the oven and all three kids (plus an extra who was over at the house) were playing in the family room when he came home.  I took coffee in to him in the dining room and sat and talked for a bit.  We usually try to have this quiet time for us to talk, and after I asked about his day and filled him in on mine and the kids, I HAD to KNOW - "What did you think of my blog?"  He said he actually didn't realize it was mine - he thought I was sending him another link from Taken In Hand - until he started reading it more closely.  He said, "I was like, wow, that guy sounds like me.... wait a minute..." - then he realized it was my blog and he said it was good.  I was so glad that he liked it, and I went in the kitchen to make the salad and slice the bread.  He came through the kitchen and went to check on the pellet stove in the living room - uh oh.  In my pleasure in writing and my completely sex starved distraction I had forgotten both to clean it AND to fill it.  I played innocent when he came into the kitchen to ask me if I had filled it - "Oh honey, I am so sorry, it just completely slipped my mind".  He's like, "you know it has to be cleaned out every other day right?"  So I asked if I could do it in the morning instead, but he said it needed to be done tonight.  I asked him to shut it off and said I would clean it out after dinner, because dinner was ready.  My lasagna turned out too saucy (I can never get lasagna right for some reason - it is either too dry or too saucy, but it's his favorite so I keep trying) but it was a hit anyway.  While I was cleaning up the dishes he went out to the garage and got the shop vac and cleaned out the stove for me, which I thought was very nice of him.  I thanked him and we went on with our night.  After driving my son's friend home I shooed everyone off to bed and took my bath.  When I came out of the bathroom everyone was in bed, but the TV in our bedroom was on - YES!

I climbed into bed and snuggled up next to him.  He turned onto his back and gave and exaggerated yawn and stretched - but looking up at him I could see the dimple in the corner of his mouth and knew that he wasn't too tired.  He put his arm around me and I laid down with my head on his chest.  He hadn't said anything, so I started stroking his chest letting my hand go a little lower with each stroke.  Still didn't say anything... so I slipped my hand underneath the waistband of his pajama bottoms... no objection so I began to stroke him with soft, feather light touches.  He slipped the pajama bottoms off so "you can have room to work".  YES YES YES! 

I slid down in the bed to take him into my mouth.  I held the base of his cock in my hand as I worked my mouth up and down, getting into the rhythm - and honestly, if a blow job was all he wanted I was fine with it.  I've gotten to the point where I get almost as much pleasure from pleasing him as I do when I orgasm myself.  He pulled all of my hair up on top of my head and then used my hair to move my head up and down the way he wanted me to.  Mmmmm - I love when he "makes" me suck his cock.  Up and down, deeper and deeper yet and then suddenly he used my hair to push me down on his cock even further, not all of it - there are still a few inches that I cannot take, but he went deep into my throat and he held me there for a minute and then let me come back up - oh my God - so good!  Now my hips began to move in rhythm with his thrusts - again he pushed me down on his cock and again and again.  I was moaning around his cock in my mouth and my hips were moving of their own accord.  It was amazing and he hadn't even touched me anywhere except his hand fisted in my hair.  Then he pulled my head back up, pulling on my hair just enough for it to hurt - and turned me to face him.  

Please, I whispered, already climbing astride him.  He let me, and feeling him slowly fill me as I sank onto his hard cock was exquisite.  He was so hard it was almost painfully rigid.   He didn't give me a chance to start moving on my own, but grabbed my hips and made me ride him up and down.  (Remember me forgetting to clean out the stove - apparently that was not forgotten - and here I thought I had gotten away with it!)  He began to slap my ass - hard - with every down stroke.  If I broke rhythm, he grabbed my hips to get me back and then began to spank me again.

My clitoris was so swollen all I wanted to do was grind it against the base of his cock, but he wouldn't let me.  Every time I started to lean forward he would slap my ass again.  Finally he let me lean forward and as I did he slipped the front of my camisole down grabbed both breasts in his hands and pinched my nipples.  The orgasm that had been building for days peaked, and peaked and peaked and just rolled through me.  It wasn't just an O it was seriously an OOOOOOO MY GOD OOOOOOO!  But he wouldn't let me stop - he kept slapping my ass (hard-ouch) and pushed me back up right, making me ride him again even though all of my muscles were still shaking.  Sitting astride him upright, almost leaning backwards changed the position slightly and his cock was sliding up and down hitting that place inside me.  I began to grind myself harder against him - and again he reached up and rolled my nipples between his fingers... I felt myself peak again, this wasn't a slow rolling orgasm - this went straight through me like a freight train.  There was no way I could stay on top now - I felt completely boneless and limp, but he flipped me over, threw my legs over his shoulders and began to pound his cock inside of me hard. He thrust against me and his balls were slapping against my ass, which was still burning from the spanking.  I heard myself saying "no, no, no" and I heard him say "yes" in a stern voice which made me come again, and yet again and then at the end when he pulled out he pressed his hand hard against my whole mound and I came yet again.

So 5 - yes 5 divine orgasms in one session.  Yesterday I was in dire need - this morning I am blissfully, somewhat smugly, satisfied! Perhaps he was on to something by making me wait, maybe he knows me better than I know myself.  I am so relaxed and happy today (and my ass is just sore enough for me to want to make sure that I get all of my chores done).

But today I am curious.  Last night, completely sated, completely limp and boneless I laid my head on his chest listening to his heart beat as he stroked my hair and my back.  I asked him what was the best part for him... he said the end.  I laughed and asked him seriously, what does he like best?  His answer - sex.  Just sex.

For me, the mental part of sex is a big part of what gets me there.  Its mental and emotional as well as the physical aspect of sex that allows me have an orgasm.  So I have to wonder, for him, if it is the visual (lingerie, etc.), the physical (the actual feeling of the lips, the skin) or the mental?  Actually, I would really love it if he was more vocal - I would love to have him be verbally commanding with a little dirty talk mixed it. Like in my mind, when I am going down on him he is saying things like, "that's right, suck that cock... you like that don't you... you love sucking cock, don't you, you little slut".   He's not verbal - I am the moaner (if we didn't have kids I'd probably be a yeller) and he doesn't say much or make a lot of noise during sex.  But because he isn't verbal, so sometimes I wonder if I am doing everything he wants - like are there hidden fantasies that he wishes I would do?  But when I ask him, he tells me that I am already doing everything he wants.  So I wonder if women are more complicated than men - or if it is just that I am more complex than he is?  Is a blow job and sex from a prettily dressed woman enough for a guy?  Don't they have the urge to role play or fantasize?  Maybe it's because my fantasy world is so vivid and he comes along with me, so in acting out my fantasies he is also acting out his?

I just hope it is as amazing for him as it is for me.  I know it is different for everyone.  Like, I know my own things, I like that he gets a little rough with me - but I also like it when he makes love to me, slowly and sweetly (we do have sex like that too - we just haven't had it like that yet this year)!  But I like that little bit of edgy roughness, that little mix of pain with the pleasure.  Sometimes I like to feel treasured and sometimes I like to feel like I am a bit of a whore.  That mixes right with me, and I am lucky to be married to a man who knows how to give me just what I want.  

And as for the multi orgasms ... my husband has always been able to make me come.  But as we added the domestic discipline into our marriage, it brought with it a level of trust that allows me to be completely free.  I used to constantly worry about how I looked, if he liked what I was doing, etc.  But by letting him be in control, I don't worry about that any more.  He's doing exactly what he wants to do - and the fact that he wants to do it with me, to me - well, that makes me feel like the most beautiful, sexy, desirable woman in the world.  Once I let go of all of those insecurities, once I let go of the need to be in control - that is when the multi orgasms began to occur with more frequency.  But 5? 5 is crazy and I am feeling so incredibly lucky, loved and cherished today!

Computer time is over - time to run the errands and vacuum - plus the bathrooms are due for a cleaning.  But I will definitely be smiling while I am doing it! 

Getting you all up to date - January 1-7th 2013

Well, the New Year started out hot and heavy.  I made our traditional New Years dinner.  We prepare a very nice spread at home and the children look forward to it also.  We had steak, lobster tails, scallops and shrimp with salads and baked potatoes.  I started preparing for dinner and my husband started smacking me on the ass every time he passed me in the kitchen.  These were not light taps either just enough of a sting to make me rub my ass, but not so hard that anyone else noticed.  The kids were watching a movie in the family room and about the 10th time he passed me and smacked my ass - well I am sure that I had quite the look on my face - my cheeks felt flushed and my ass was warm.  He walked back in the kitchen again and I braced my self for another swat, but instead he wrapped his hand in my hair, pulling my head back and started kissing me.  All of my nerve endings sizzled as he walked me backwards into the bathroom and shut the door.  In about 2 seconds my sweater was pulled up, my breasts were pulled out of the bra cups and my pants were shoved down to my knees.  He didn't stop kissing me or let go of my hair the entire time.  He thrust two fingers into me (and my God I was wet and wanting) as he roughly grabbed a breast and started sucking.  My knees buckled and he let me sink to the floor.  My face was at crotch level as he unhooked his belt.  I eagerly began to unfasten the button on his jeans but he pushed my hand away as he slipped the belt through the loops.  (Do I need to tell you how HOT it is when a man takes his belt off? - holy cow!) I looked up at him -  but he unzipped his jeans, grabbed my hair again and thrust his already rock hard cock in my mouth.  Can I just say I was a quivering mass of desire?  I began to suck his cock struggling to take as much in as I could - and then he used his belt to start smacking me on my bare ass.  He has never hit me with his belt before.  So I am kneeling on the floor, cock thrusting in my mouth, one of his hands fisted in my hair and the other swinging the stinging belt.  He swung it in a rhythm that went with the motions of his thrusts, one smack on each cheek, two on each cheek and then one more that made me gasp and pull my head away as I put my hand back to protect my ass. When I did that he pulled away from me, tucked that hard cock back in, zipped up his jeans and strolled out of the bathroom with a bit of a smirk.  

I looked in the mirror, my lips swollen, mascara smeared, my breasts overflowing my bra, pants around my knees and 4 stripes and one loop imprinted on my ass.  This all took place in less then five minutes and yet I was as horny as I've ever been in my life - and that man just strolled out and left me hanging!  I had to freshen up and go out and finish making dinner. 

So as soon as I could I was freshly bathed, hair and makeup done, kids in bed.  All evening I kept replaying the interlude in my mind and I was so ready.  I went down on him again in the bedroom, until he flipped me over and plunged deeply inside of me - but before I could gain my own release, he pulled out and came all over my ass.

Everything about it was so hot, and better than I ever imagined, but it left me one frustrated lady... We had other commitments during the week that precluded another round, and even though I went to bed each night ready he made me wait until Friday - which was the best day this year so far...

Usually our Disciplinary Day should fall on a Monday, but (as he happened to be off of work on Friday and we knew we would be busy on Monday) Friday was our first Disciplinary Day.  After getting all the kids to their schools, I came back home.  I went and bathed, did my hair and makeup and then put on a special outfit I had bought for him.  I am going to put the link with it because, as a woman over 30 sometimes it's hard to find something that shows your assets off in the best light.  As an overweight woman it is next to impossible - and this is holy hot batman when you have it on.  (It washed well too but  it can become tangled  so use a lingerie bag and make sure that you are patient when untangling it - this is a great item to have in your drawer!) (Fantasy Lingerie).  Anyway, I wore this with nothing under it and an apron over it with a pair of heels.  Needless to say, it was enough incentive to follow me into the bedroom!

As I said before, he really doesn't like the idea of spanking me, but I bent over the bed and didn't say a word.  He came up behind me and rubbed his hands across my ass a few times, and said - "do you really want 60?"  I said yes, not because I really like the spanking part - it's more of a love/hate thing.  He has really hard hands and the spankings hurt, but the burn afterwards is amazing and turns me on.  Plus, I really do want to lose weight and I am curious to see if this helps or not.  He gave me a few spanks, and right when I was trying to squirm away he grabbed a soft braided belt off of my dresser.  It's much softer than his hand, and at first it didn't feel like much, but then when he kept going I began to feel the sting.  Right when I thought it was going to be too much he stopped and knelt between my legs, licking between my legs while stroking my ass with his hands and I thought my head would explode.  All of the sensations were mixing together, the feel of the fishnets, the burn from the strokes, the softness of his tongue, the wetness dripping out of me - everything in one glorious swirl of sensation and he stopped again.  He slid one finger in and out of me, then two.  While I was adjusting to that he slapped my ass a few more times while sliding them in and out of me and I could actually (embarrassingly) hear how aroused I was.   Finally, impossibly, he slipped a third finger inside of me and pressed rhythmically on my g-spot.  I had a huge orgasm and gushed all over his fingers.  As I lay there gasping he got up on the bed and knelt in front of me.  I began to suck on his cock as he thrust it in and out of my mouth.  He began to press it deeper down my throat (By the way - I LOVE when he does that - my goal is to someday be able to take him all the way inside of me, but as he is well endowed that hasn't happened yet) and every time I took it deep he would smack me on the ass hard.  He was able to keep this up for a long time and sometimes would work his fingers inside of me, making me come again before returning to spanking my ass.  I cannot even describe this well, it was all too intense and almost too much to take.  Finally he pulled me up on the bed and entered me from behind - it felt so good I couldn't keep quiet and when he came, I came again.  

Lying with him afterwards, he held me and my body shook all over.  It was an emotional release as well as a physical one, and I felt very shy with him at first and everything was still going through my mind.  I kept replaying certain things that he did and it was like electric volts would shoot through me whenever I thought about some of the things he did and the way my body responded to him.

I began to stroke him gently and as I kept doing the mental replay I found myself ready to go again - almost desperately ready.  I took him into my mouth again, but after awhile he pulled me up on his shoulder and pointed out that our free time was up - time to get back to work.  That made me a bit bratty, because when something feels this good you want to wallow in it for awhile.  He stroked my back a few times and told me again that it was time to get up and make our lunches.  I was pouting a bit, and answered back saucily that "maybe I didn't feel like it" - three quick sharp slaps on the ass had me jumping up in shock and rushing to get clothes on.  God I love that man!

Saturday and Sunday the kids were up later, we had sporting events to attend and even though every night I was ready for more, I am still in a needy limbo for now.  Yesterday I reminded him when he had a break from work that I am now submissive and open to anything he wants.  He gave me an evil smirk and asked "anything?'  My mind went into overdrive as I readily agreed to anything he wanted.

He came where I was sitting on the couch and unzipped his pants.  I knelt on the couch with my arms braced one on the couch and one on the ottoman with him standing in between them.  This was a great position for fellatio and I think I was doing a great job (if I do say so myself) when the dogs became interested in what was going on and stood at the gate watching us.  As this was a bit distracting, we laughed and moved it into the bedroom, but I only made it inside the door before I was on my knees and trying to suck on his cock again.  (Can I say that this little experiment so far has taken me from an enthusiastic partner to a very needy and very horny slut?  I'll take his cock any way I can get it at this point!)  I did such a great job that I made him cum, and when he did I pulled it away from my mouth and let it spray all over my tits and face.  I never saw him cum before, not like that - not in the daylight where I could see everything.  It was absolutely one of the sexiest things I've ever done (at least in my opinion) and I don't regret it one bit.  However, that was our time for the day - after that we had kids and commitments, and even though I was ready again last night - he was tired and kissed me good night. And so I am sitting here burning for him again.

So far this week I have learned a few things.  

1. Being submissive is hard work.  I did not realize how many ways I tried to control things until now.
2. Maybe this will pass in time, but for right now, making sure that I am constantly ready for sex means I am constantly ready for sex! 
3. I made the decision that I would not self gratify, that I will only have sex when it pleases him to do so and I will not bring myself to fulfillment unless he specifically tells me to.... I'll be lucky if I can make it through the rest of the day with that rule much less a year!
4. I think he is secretly getting a kick out of me being so ready and is amusing himself by making me wait a few days in between each orgasm - sneaky bastard!

I am very happy being submissive at this point, but as we are only on day 8, time will tell.  Now I have to hustle as I have over used my computer time and need to get the housework done.  Of course writing this all down now has it replaying through my mind.... oh if only I hadn't agreed to not self gratify!

365 Days of Submission

OK, so I read 50 Shades of Grey... so I became 50 Shades of curious... I wrote my husband a letter describing a scene I had pictured in my mind... and he very generously acted the entire role play out.  Outstanding, Amazing... but something was missing.  

So I continued to read everything I could find on the subject.  Some were hot reads, some were instructional, some were religious and some plain grossed me out!  But I definitely reacted the most strongly to a site called Taken in Hand (www.takeninhand.com) and started sending my husband links to some of their articles. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that this has been a process.  We didn't jump into this quickly and we are still finding our way.  I was the initiator of the whole thing, and while my husband is very much the alpha male, he also loves me very much so the whole concept of "hurting" me was very hard for him to digest.  He was also concerned that this would put him in the role of "task master" and after working 12 hour days he would not want to have to "correct" me, or as he put it, "you should be doing this because you want to - not because I am making you.  You're a grown woman..." etc.  

But as we experimented, we found our marriage getting stronger and stronger (and our sex life getting hotter and hotter) so we continued to work more domestic discipline into our relationship.  I have so much more respect for him now, and there are so many arguments we had in the past that could have been gainsaid if I only would have realized that only one of us can captain our ship.  I know that I am fully capable of earning my own living, running the show and being in control of everything - but I was not happy or fulfilled.  I was stressed out and miserable.  We spent 10 years struggling in our marriage because we had different approaches to the same goals and we were constantly tripping each other up (and I've apologized to him now that I see the many ways I undermined my husband).  I never meant to cause him as much pain as I have - I was trying to make things better and was only making things worse instead of turning it over to him and allowing him to be the man I married.   

I told my husband that to be completely submissive was my New Years Resolution but that I needed him to come fully on board.

And that is what led to this blog.

We've agreed to 365 Days of Submission.  Which means that I am going to be the submissive in our relationship for the next year and we will see at the end of the year how it works for us and then decide if we want it to continue.  

For the duration of this time I will be a stay at home mom, keeping the house clean, taking care of the children, taking care of the family schedule and cooking all of the meals.  With allowing me to stay at home we are taking my pay out of the budget which means I need to make a menu (meals including lunches and snacks) that should be under $150/week.  

My husband does the grocery shopping (I've been known to impulse purchase so this helps us stay in our budget), he also fills the car with gas for me each week.  If I need extra money I can ask and he has the right to say yes or no to my request.  (Please remember if this sounds archaic that he is very generous and would only say no to me if there was no money to give - this is just another way for us to stay on budget).

I've set myself up with rules and we set up one disciplinary day per week (he has one day when he works from home) where we can deal with any major infractions and/or maintenance spankings (again the spankings are my request, but I am hoping he gets more on board with them as the days go by - it is very hot for me when he does it!).

The rules for the house are as follows:

1. Laundry to be done daily - if a load a day is done then there is never a pile up
2. Floors vacuumed daily - (we have two dogs, a cat and three children - the floors need a daily sweep)
3. House is to be company ready by noon each day
4. Weekly chores to be completed according to Flylady (www.flylady.net)
5. Poop patrol weekly in the winter - daily in good weather (again - two dogs)
6. Snack and Homework to be done before Dad gets home (less stress in the evenings)
7. Dinner to be ready at 6:30 PM each night

Now my husband is wonderful - he wouldn't expect me to do all of that if I had the flu, but on an ongoing basis those would be the rules for the house.  And let me tell you, compared to trying to do that AND working - this is heavenly!

The rules for me (self imposed) are as follows:

1. Wake up in time to see husband out the door with a hug and kiss (5:30 AM)
2. Bathed and shaved and dressed in sexy sleepwear every night (except for once a month)
3. No panties in bed - just camisole or teddy
4. Wear a sexy outfit including garter belt, stockings and heels every Disciplinary Day
5. Wear a dress, garter belt, stocking and heels whenever we go out somewhere together
6. To be available at anytime, any place to indulge in the sexual activities of his choice
7. During the time each month that I am not available for all sexual activities I am still available for oral gratification at anytime of his choosing.
8. To be dressed with hair and makeup done everyday so that I always look my best, for him and as a reflection of him as I am his wife. Included in this is sexy underwear and matching bras under my clothes.  I may have on jeans and a sweater, but underneath it I am always ready for him.
9. To write each day, both on my blog and also work on my short stories and novel.  I was an English major in college, but never pursued my dream to write.  My husband is giving me the opportunity to follow my dreams now and I want to make sure I take full advantage of this opportunity.

 
I also have a personal mission to lose 60 pounds before the end of the year.  This is part of my maintenance spanking (at my request - I asked for 60 swats to start each Discipline Day with the number to go down as I lose weight - now if that does not give me incentive, I don't know what will!).  Along with that come daily exercise (worth 10 if not done) and drinking 8 glasses of water each day (1 apiece).  Which could add up to a really painful Discipline Day - so I need to keep on my toes.  

It is up to me to keep track of any infractions, so that on Discipline Day I can present him with what I feel is owed for my discipline that week.